♥
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Slowly, I feel that all the things that I do for you is not worthwhile anymore. No matter what I do you will not ever give a shit about me. Yes, you do look at me. But all those are fake looks, you just wanna make me fall into the trap.
You makes me thinks that you still cared but you don't.
You makes me look back to you but you don't care.
You makes me want to look back at you and you ignore.
You make me look like a fool to everyone.
But, let me tell you this;
I will not fall into your trap anymore.
I will not be that naive Catherine that will keep running back to you and beg for you to meet me and for your return anymore.
I will not text you anymore.
I will not send you letters anymore.
I will not give you any presents anymore.
I will not be stupid and act like a fool anymore.
While I waited for you to come back to me wholeheartedly for the past 8 months to be exact. I stay single and begged for your return. You didn't even give a damn shit about me. I know I left you for 4 months with YY but I came back crying and begging you for so long yet you carrying your ego, having your bros and listening to your friends advice you choose not to get back together with me. It's okay, not getting back together with me is definitely your lost and not mine. If one day you begin to be like Derek and come running back to me to have me back. I assure you, you will get back the same treatment like I gave him.
After hearing what JP told me about your stuff from Philip. I just feel that you're such a loser in life now. You have totally became into another person that I have never once knew. Yes, maybe what you said was right. 人是会变的 Yea, you changed totally. Going to tiew and drink without paying, taking cab home with bros without paying and spending money on those siam bu. Bank with less than $100 when you just got your pay on the day itself. And when it's nearing the end of the month you would be left with less than $2. How pathetic is it. I would definitely not want a friend like this. How would I want a boyfriend like this.
I have always carried that guilt that all these things you're doing now is what I have brought to you. But, for the past 8 months, I wanted to lend you a helping hand and tried to care for you, love you, lend you money when you needed, buy things for you, first to wished you during your birthday, help you when you needed to do things for driving. But, you just took all these things for granted. Do you know there's a lot of guys out there waiting for me but I choose not to get anyone because of you? But yet, you really don't give a shit about me.
傻也傻够了笨也笨够了这一切都该结束了。。
♥
Monday, November 4, 2013
Pictures speak it all. Shall update on text some day but not today. Too busy and too many things to think of...
♥
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Today I just feel that my life is not that great after all. I still need you in my life Vincent. You're only one that cared with your heart, loved me with your mine and always truly there for me. These are all once you did to me, but now everything changed. You no longer want to be there for me anymore. You don't even want to care about me, you just treat me like a normal girl who doesn't make any different in your life even if I'm gone far away. I feel so regretful for doing those things to you last time. People tend to hurt those who love them the most and now I guess it's time for me to get hurt from you because I really love you the most. I know you're someone that has no future but I always tell myself that I really don't mind. Why? Because of love I am willing to do all these. In 18 days time it will be exactly one year that we have broke up. Time flies and that the most regretful day I have ever made and I really don't wish for the day to come because it just makes me feel that our distance is getting further and further. You're no longer there to care for me and love me but I really hope I am able to care and love you. I might not be able to receive that from you but I wish I can do those to you because I know the pain of not getting loved and cared. I don't want you to feel that way.
I MISS YOU, VINCENT THENG YONG SHENG AND HARRY THENG.
♥
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Been ages since i last blogged..
Time flies and i'm in year 2 semester 2 now. After this semester i'll be going for internship and back to school for another sem and off i graduate from RP. 3 years can count as short and long too but these 3 years have definitely taught me well. Learnt lots of things along the way, loss somethings and received things, experienced, lose it again and here i am alone being single. This is the longest time I've been single, even i myself is kinda proud of myself for pulling myself through this tough period of time. Even though, i did fling around but my heart decision still remains the same. Never did i have the second though of giving somebody else to take over your place in my heart. Vincent Theng.. I don't know what's so beautiful and fantastic about you that nobody could replace your place in my heart. Even Derek couldn't, someone that you helped me to get through in the past wanted to help me get you out but no matter what he do. At the end of the day, you Vincent Theng still can't be taken away. I don't know why too..
All these while, i have did so much for you and all i want is not for you to come back to me. I just want you to know that you're the most important person in my life and i have regretted for what i have done in the past. I have no rights to as you be back by my side, i just want and hope that you're living fine without me. Having enough money to spend and not going work with an empty stomach.. You have nobody to take care of you now and i hope i can do a little things for you. You might not have feelings for me anymore i won't blame you because this is what i did in the past to make you this way. I'm sorry...
For now, i just hope that we could at least have a meal together once in a while and contact you to chat. Knowing your well being and being able to share with you all the ups and downs, i'm more than happy enough. Many people have told me not to be so naive and stupid to continue to wait for you. Someone that doesn't have a future and also a guy that have such a huge age gap with me. I did take their words to heart and think through it but at the end of the day i just can't help but fall for you over and over again. I don't know what is this called but maybe this is fate? This is what God wants us to be?
I have tell you a hundreds and millions time that i know you don't have money, you're not young and good-looking but as long as you're willing to work hard for our future and love me with all you can. I am willing to walk the rest of my life with you. Age, money and looks doesn't really matter after all as long as i am with someone that i love the most. With you, i can feel happiness. Even if you give me a rich and good looking young man, i will still be unhappy. From the day, i fall for you till now i have never regretted the decision that i once made which is getting together with you. Sometimes, you might be lazy to go find work and you might not be as capable as other people but i'm sure with preservance and hard work you will one day be able to earn enough to support a family.
I really hope that one day we will be able to have our own family together. Like what we said 1 year ago, I wanna get married to you in 5 years time. Which means for now is 4 years later... I have always remind you of this, hope you still remembers and take my words to heart. I am not joking, i'm serious. Really hope that one day will come.
Let's talk about recent happenings...
21st October was my first day of year 2 semester 2. As always, i'm that kind of person that does not like changes and afraid of getting adapt to new environment. And, well enough. On my first day of school i got all so stressed up and ended up crying about what are the many things that's gonna happen in school. I started crying and had nobody to turn to. Luckily, Derek was there to comfort me a little but the empty feelings is still in there. So i decided to text you, Vincent, I need your concern and words of encouragement. But, i know you will just ignore or give a few words reply. But, the next day you told me that i can look for you when i need someone to talk to. It really touched my heart and makes me very happy. You hurt me so much and rejected me umpteen times but those things you said and do did not make me give up. Whereas, those small and little things that you encouraged me makes me have that little hope that you still care and makes me push on and have faith in us.
Yesterday (29/10/13), Lawrence told me about you, that you went to ask Shunming whether if it's him will you get back together with me and he said no. Then he told me that you have made the decision of not getting back with me and i guess that the reason why you deleted our photos on fb a few months ago. Guess that's when you asked Shunming about it. Again, i really can't blame anyone for that decision and all i can blame is myself. I chose to leave you and i want you back. It's really ridiculous to ask for your return so I cannot say anything too.
I really miss you a lot. In the night, i don't know why i just felt like texting you again. And while texting halfway you suddenly appeared online, it gave me shocked and i stopped typing and hesitated on whether to send you again because i wasn't ready to get a reply after you read. I thought you were working but guess you're having off day yesterday. To my surprise, you reply a text that i will never imagine it. You said 'Find one day we go out ok' IMMEDIATELY TEARS STARTED TO ROLL DOWN. I was so happy until i started tearing. I have been waiting for months and months, almost 8 months. I worked so hard and waited and finally you kinda start open to me.
I don't really know where you're coming from. Maybe, you was just telling me as a friend to meet up since i am stressed up with school and i was kind of pestering you as always. Maybe, you were bored and you want someone to accompany you. Maybe, you want to give me another chance. Maybe, you just reply what came up your mind. MAYBE MAYBE MAYBE. Lots of maybe which i don't want to think too much. Having high hopes would lead to higher disappointment of course. So, i just have to calm my tits down and wait for your reply about the meet up. I told you that i will wait. So, no matter how long you take to plan the meet up i will wait. 8 months, i have already go passed. LITRES OF TEAR IS SHED FOR YOU, HEART ACHE FOR YOU TOO. This time i guess it won't hurt much too.
God put us in this test for so long. I hope you and i can really see it. From breaking up with Yuyuan - knowing how much i miss you. Going BKK-SOT and telling myself that i'll come back with a different me - but still failed and came back missing you and went to see you 2 days after when i'm back in Singapore. Your birthday - Texting you at 12am sharp and hoping that you will feel a little touched about my effort. School started - Texted you and knowing that i still needed you.
I really hope, this time round is something that is what i hope and expect. I really don't want to be played and i don't want to fool around anymore. Baby, can we have one last chance again? If fate bring us back together, let's make it last till the end. I am willing, are you?
Will see how things go, hope the next post would be something good?
See you soon little bloggy.
♥
Monday, August 19, 2013
靜靜翻閱著照片 重來不了的畫面
關上了燈的房間 無所謂你不在身邊
當愛情打烊之前 總要把傷心盤點
囤積太多的諾言 放太久過期不新鮮
原諒不必跟隨著抱歉 眼淚也不必為了紀念
是不是我們該忘了 最愛的一刻
找不回每次擁抱缺少的 溫熱
也許是我們該忘了 越在乎越忐忑
理智拉扯 情緒曲折 到底怎麼癒合
現在起我們該忘了 最愛的一刻
清空了心值不值得 依依不捨
最好是我們都忘了 期待是錯的
幸福很遠了
輕輕按下空白鍵 洗掉心中的思念
關上手機的電源 不再半夜為誰失眠
當愛情枯萎之前 再多灌溉都不對
養分太少而凋謝 不能責怪任何季節
原諒不必跟隨著抱歉 眼淚也不必為了紀念
是不是我們該忘了 最愛的一刻
找不回每次擁抱缺少的 溫熱
也許是我們該忘了 越在乎越忐忑
理智拉扯 情緒曲折 早就無法癒合
是不是我們該忘了 最當初的快樂
當一切寬容與配合 換來挫折
所以我們應該忘了 放手是好的
幸福很遠了 所以再見了
♥
chan yang bpen kon tee rak ter mot jai
I’m still the man who loves you wholeheartedly
ฉัน ยัง ได้แต่ คิดถึง เธอ เรื่อยไป
chan yang dai dtae kit teung ter reuay bpai
I still can only think of you constantly
ฉัน ยัง ดู รูปถ่าย ที่ เรา ชิดใกล้ อยู่ ทุกวัน
chan yang doo roop taai tee rao chit glai yoo tuk wan
I still look at our pictures of when we were close everyday
ฉัน ยัง รอคอย ให้ เธอ นั้น กลับมา
chan yang ror koi hai ter nan glap maa
I’m still waiting for you to come back
ฉัน ยัง กา ปฏิทิน ทุก คืนวัน
chan yang gaa bpa-dti-tin tuk keun-wan
I still cross off each day on the calendar
เพราะ คำ เดียว ระยะทาง ที่มา ขวางกั้น เรา ไว้
pror kam dieow ra-ya taang tee maa kwaang gan rao wai
Because one word stood in our way and kept us apart
* ได้แต่ คิด แล้วก็ สงสัย อยู่ ตรงนั้น เธอ เป็นอย่างไร ก็ ไม่รู้
* dai dtae kit laew gor song-sai yoo dtrong nan ter bpen yaang rai gor mai roo
I can only think and then wonder. I have no idea how you’re doing over there
ฝาก เพลง นี้ ให้ ไป ถาม เธอ ดู อยากจะ รู้ ใน ความเป็นไป
faak playng nee hai bpai taam ter doo yaak ja roo nai kwaam bpen bpai
I’ll send over this song to ask you. I want to know what’s going on.
** เธอ ยัง คิดถึง ฉัน ทุก นาที รึเปล่า
** ter yang kit teung chan tuk naa-tee reu bplao
Do you still think of me every single minute?
เธอ ยัง จำ เรื่อง เรา ใน วัน วาน ได้ หรือไม่
ter yang jam reuang rao nai wan waan dai reu mai
Do you still recall yesterday’s memories?
เธอ ยัง มี ใจ ให้ ฉัน คนเดียว ยัง รอ ฉัน แค่ คนเดียว
ter yang mee jai hai chan kon dieow yang ror chan kae kon dieow
Are you still faithful to only me? Still waiting for only me?
เธอ ยังคง เป็น เหมือนเดิม อยู่ ใช่ไหม
ter yang kong bpen meuan derm yoo chai mai
You’re still the same person as before, right?
ช่วย บอก ให้รู้ ที
chuay bok hai roo tee
Please let me know
ฉัน กลัว ใคร ทำให้ เธอ นั้น เปลี่ยนไป
chan glua krai tam hai ter nan bplian bpai
I’m afraid someone is going to change you
ฉัน กลัว สิ่ง ที่ ไม่ แน่นอน มากมาย
chan glua sing tee mai nae non maak maai
I’m afraid of so many uncertain things
ฉัน กลัว คำว่า เสียใจ เธอ รอ ฉัน ได้ ใช่ไหม
chan glua kam waa sia jai ter ror chan dai chai mai
I’m afraid of regret. You can wait for me, right?
เธอ ยัง คิดถึง ฉัน ทุกเวลา อยู่ หรือเปล่า
ter yang kit teung chan tuk way-laa yoo reu bplao
Do you still think of me all the time?
เธอ ยัง ดู รูป เรา ใบ เดิม เดิม อยู่ หรือไม่
ter yang doo roop rao bai derm derm yoo reu mai
Do you still look at our old photographs?
เธอ ยัง มี ใจ ให้ ฉัน คนเดียว ยัง รอ ฉัน แค่ คนเดียว
ter yang mee jai hai chan kon dieow yang ror chan kae kon dieow
Are you still faithful to only me? Still waiting for only me?
เธอ ยัง รัก กัน เหมือนเดิม อยู่ ใช่ไหม ช่วย บอก ให้รู้ ที
ter yang rak gan meuan derm yoo chai mai chuay bok hai roo tee
You still love me like you did before, right? Please let me know.
เธอ ยัง คิดถึง ฉัน ทุกเวลา อยู่ หรือเปล่า
ter yang kit teung chan tuk way-laa yoo reu bplao
Do you still think of me all the time?
เธอ ยัง ดู รูป เรา ใบ เดิม เดิม อยู่ หรือไม่
ter yang doo roop rao bai derm derm yoo reu mai
Do you still look at our old photographs?
เธอ ยัง มี ใจ ให้ ฉัน คนเดียว ยัง รอ ฉัน แค่ คนเดียว
ter yang mee jai hai chan kon dieow yang ror chan kae kon dieow
Are you still faithful to only me? Still waiting for only me?
เธอ ยัง รัก กัน เหมือนเดิม อยู่ ใช่ไหม ช่วย บอก ให้รู้ ที
ter yang rak gan meuan derm yoo chai mai chuay bok hai
You still love me like you did before, right? Please let me know.
♥
19 August 2013
Today.
Today I'm gonna make you regret for that decision that you have made. I always thought that I will slowly forget you. But, from today onwards I will force myself to forget you. I will make you regret for making me this way. Vincent Theng Yong Sheng, I will make you regret for making that move of deleting those photos. You are one heartless person that I have seen. I don't mind you being no money and despite people telling me that you have no future and asked me to forget you. I hold on for so long, waited for you so long. Showed so much love to you, you made my heart break so many times. I still hold on and continued waiting for you. But, this is all I get from you. You wait.
I'll make sure I will be 10 times more successful then I thought i will. This is because you made me stronger than before. I will make sure I will do well for everything that is coming my way and make everything do well. I will prove to myself that I don't need you at all. Since you don't need me, i will do this all for myself. Getting married at the age of 25 will come one day and when the comes. I will show it to you that, the day you didn't wanted me is your lose not my lose.
Continue with your nonsense in your life. Living a lifeless life. You want it, you go have it. 我不会跟你一起疯了。Carry on going siam tiew and drinking your life away. I don't scare and I won't care anymore. I will not text you anymore, I will not concern for you anymore. Because all I do is just wasting my effort. You don't appreciate the things I do, I will stop. You think you're so good to live on your own, so be it. I'll let you be. One day, just one day. I'll prove it to everyone that the move of leaving you from the start is all worth it. And me wanting you back is a stupid mistake till the day I move on will be the day when people say 'Well Done For Moving On Away From You'. You don't worth my time anymore. Not even friend I can say. Next time when I see you on the road or streets, don't blame me for not saying hi because you have hurt me so much that I do not want to accept that we once knew each other.
我在也不会让我在为你掉一滴眼泪了。谢谢你让我看出男人都是没良心的。
I'll will never find a guy that is as heartless as you anymore. I will make sure that my next boyfriend will be my husband and I will make the marriage so much better than anyone's else. Most of all, I will make my life better than yours. I will not waste time on you anymore.
The old Vincent Theng Yong Sheng that I know had die long ago.. This person that I know is not the one I know because he is not the someone that will hurt me. So,,why do I have to love someone that I don't know. 那个他已经死了，真的死了。我们的爱真的在也找不会来了。
在也不要见了。。。我的心对你也应该死了。是你比我的。
♥
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Slowly, I feel that all the things that I do for you is not worthwhile anymore. No matter what I do you will not ever give a shit about me. Yes, you do look at me. But all those are fake looks, you just wanna make me fall into the trap.
You makes me thinks that you still cared but you don't.
You makes me look back to you but you don't care.
You makes me want to look back at you and you ignore.
You make me look like a fool to everyone.
But, let me tell you this;
I will not fall into your trap anymore.
I will not be that naive Catherine that will keep running back to you and beg for you to meet me and for your return anymore.
I will not text you anymore.
I will not send you letters anymore.
I will not give you any presents anymore.
I will not be stupid and act like a fool anymore.
While I waited for you to come back to me wholeheartedly for the past 8 months to be exact. I stay single and begged for your return. You didn't even give a damn shit about me. I know I left you for 4 months with YY but I came back crying and begging you for so long yet you carrying your ego, having your bros and listening to your friends advice you choose not to get back together with me. It's okay, not getting back together with me is definitely your lost and not mine. If one day you begin to be like Derek and come running back to me to have me back. I assure you, you will get back the same treatment like I gave him.
After hearing what JP told me about your stuff from Philip. I just feel that you're such a loser in life now. You have totally became into another person that I have never once knew. Yes, maybe what you said was right. 人是会变的 Yea, you changed totally. Going to tiew and drink without paying, taking cab home with bros without paying and spending money on those siam bu. Bank with less than $100 when you just got your pay on the day itself. And when it's nearing the end of the month you would be left with less than $2. How pathetic is it. I would definitely not want a friend like this. How would I want a boyfriend like this.
I have always carried that guilt that all these things you're doing now is what I have brought to you. But, for the past 8 months, I wanted to lend you a helping hand and tried to care for you, love you, lend you money when you needed, buy things for you, first to wished you during your birthday, help you when you needed to do things for driving. But, you just took all these things for granted. Do you know there's a lot of guys out there waiting for me but I choose not to get anyone because of you? But yet, you really don't give a shit about me.
傻也傻够了笨也笨够了这一切都该结束了。。
♥
Monday, November 4, 2013
Pictures speak it all. Shall update on text some day but not today. Too busy and too many things to think of...
♥
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Today I just feel that my life is not that great after all. I still need you in my life Vincent. You're only one that cared with your heart, loved me with your mine and always truly there for me. These are all once you did to me, but now everything changed. You no longer want to be there for me anymore. You don't even want to care about me, you just treat me like a normal girl who doesn't make any different in your life even if I'm gone far away. I feel so regretful for doing those things to you last time. People tend to hurt those who love them the most and now I guess it's time for me to get hurt from you because I really love you the most. I know you're someone that has no future but I always tell myself that I really don't mind. Why? Because of love I am willing to do all these. In 18 days time it will be exactly one year that we have broke up. Time flies and that the most regretful day I have ever made and I really don't wish for the day to come because it just makes me feel that our distance is getting further and further. You're no longer there to care for me and love me but I really hope I am able to care and love you. I might not be able to receive that from you but I wish I can do those to you because I know the pain of not getting loved and cared. I don't want you to feel that way.
I MISS YOU, VINCENT THENG YONG SHENG AND HARRY THENG.
♥
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Been ages since i last blogged..
Time flies and i'm in year 2 semester 2 now. After this semester i'll be going for internship and back to school for another sem and off i graduate from RP. 3 years can count as short and long too but these 3 years have definitely taught me well. Learnt lots of things along the way, loss somethings and received things, experienced, lose it again and here i am alone being single. This is the longest time I've been single, even i myself is kinda proud of myself for pulling myself through this tough period of time. Even though, i did fling around but my heart decision still remains the same. Never did i have the second though of giving somebody else to take over your place in my heart. Vincent Theng.. I don't know what's so beautiful and fantastic about you that nobody could replace your place in my heart. Even Derek couldn't, someone that you helped me to get through in the past wanted to help me get you out but no matter what he do. At the end of the day, you Vincent Theng still can't be taken away. I don't know why too..
All these while, i have did so much for you and all i want is not for you to come back to me. I just want you to know that you're the most important person in my life and i have regretted for what i have done in the past. I have no rights to as you be back by my side, i just want and hope that you're living fine without me. Having enough money to spend and not going work with an empty stomach.. You have nobody to take care of you now and i hope i can do a little things for you. You might not have feelings for me anymore i won't blame you because this is what i did in the past to make you this way. I'm sorry...
For now, i just hope that we could at least have a meal together once in a while and contact you to chat. Knowing your well being and being able to share with you all the ups and downs, i'm more than happy enough. Many people have told me not to be so naive and stupid to continue to wait for you. Someone that doesn't have a future and also a guy that have such a huge age gap with me. I did take their words to heart and think through it but at the end of the day i just can't help but fall for you over and over again. I don't know what is this called but maybe this is fate? This is what God wants us to be?
I have tell you a hundreds and millions time that i know you don't have money, you're not young and good-looking but as long as you're willing to work hard for our future and love me with all you can. I am willing to walk the rest of my life with you. Age, money and looks doesn't really matter after all as long as i am with someone that i love the most. With you, i can feel happiness. Even if you give me a rich and good looking young man, i will still be unhappy. From the day, i fall for you till now i have never regretted the decision that i once made which is getting together with you. Sometimes, you might be lazy to go find work and you might not be as capable as other people but i'm sure with preservance and hard work you will one day be able to earn enough to support a family.
I really hope that one day we will be able to have our own family together. Like what we said 1 year ago, I wanna get married to you in 5 years time. Which means for now is 4 years later... I have always remind you of this, hope you still remembers and take my words to heart. I am not joking, i'm serious. Really hope that one day will come.
Let's talk about recent happenings...
21st October was my first day of year 2 semester 2. As always, i'm that kind of person that does not like changes and afraid of getting adapt to new environment. And, well enough. On my first day of school i got all so stressed up and ended up crying about what are the many things that's gonna happen in school. I started crying and had nobody to turn to. Luckily, Derek was there to comfort me a little but the empty feelings is still in there. So i decided to text you, Vincent, I need your concern and words of encouragement. But, i know you will just ignore or give a few words reply. But, the next day you told me that i can look for you when i need someone to talk to. It really touched my heart and makes me very happy. You hurt me so much and rejected me umpteen times but those things you said and do did not make me give up. Whereas, those small and little things that you encouraged me makes me have that little hope that you still care and makes me push on and have faith in us.
Yesterday (29/10/13), Lawrence told me about you, that you went to ask Shunming whether if it's him will you get back together with me and he said no. Then he told me that you have made the decision of not getting back with me and i guess that the reason why you deleted our photos on fb a few months ago. Guess that's when you asked Shunming about it. Again, i really can't blame anyone for that decision and all i can blame is myself. I chose to leave you and i want you back. It's really ridiculous to ask for your return so I cannot say anything too.
I really miss you a lot. In the night, i don't know why i just felt like texting you again. And while texting halfway you suddenly appeared online, it gave me shocked and i stopped typing and hesitated on whether to send you again because i wasn't ready to get a reply after you read. I thought you were working but guess you're having off day yesterday. To my surprise, you reply a text that i will never imagine it. You said 'Find one day we go out ok' IMMEDIATELY TEARS STARTED TO ROLL DOWN. I was so happy until i started tearing. I have been waiting for months and months, almost 8 months. I worked so hard and waited and finally you kinda start open to me.
I don't really know where you're coming from. Maybe, you was just telling me as a friend to meet up since i am stressed up with school and i was kind of pestering you as always. Maybe, you were bored and you want someone to accompany you. Maybe, you want to give me another chance. Maybe, you just reply what came up your mind. MAYBE MAYBE MAYBE. Lots of maybe which i don't want to think too much. Having high hopes would lead to higher disappointment of course. So, i just have to calm my tits down and wait for your reply about the meet up. I told you that i will wait. So, no matter how long you take to plan the meet up i will wait. 8 months, i have already go passed. LITRES OF TEAR IS SHED FOR YOU, HEART ACHE FOR YOU TOO. This time i guess it won't hurt much too.
God put us in this test for so long. I hope you and i can really see it. From breaking up with Yuyuan - knowing how much i miss you. Going BKK-SOT and telling myself that i'll come back with a different me - but still failed and came back missing you and went to see you 2 days after when i'm back in Singapore. Your birthday - Texting you at 12am sharp and hoping that you will feel a little touched about my effort. School started - Texted you and knowing that i still needed you.
I really hope, this time round is something that is what i hope and expect. I really don't want to be played and i don't want to fool around anymore. Baby, can we have one last chance again? If fate bring us back together, let's make it last till the end. I am willing, are you?
Will see how things go, hope the next post would be something good?
See you soon little bloggy.
♥
Monday, August 19, 2013
靜靜翻閱著照片 重來不了的畫面
關上了燈的房間 無所謂你不在身邊
當愛情打烊之前 總要把傷心盤點
囤積太多的諾言 放太久過期不新鮮
原諒不必跟隨著抱歉 眼淚也不必為了紀念
是不是我們該忘了 最愛的一刻
找不回每次擁抱缺少的 溫熱
也許是我們該忘了 越在乎越忐忑
理智拉扯 情緒曲折 到底怎麼癒合
現在起我們該忘了 最愛的一刻
清空了心值不值得 依依不捨
最好是我們都忘了 期待是錯的
幸福很遠了
輕輕按下空白鍵 洗掉心中的思念
關上手機的電源 不再半夜為誰失眠
當愛情枯萎之前 再多灌溉都不對
養分太少而凋謝 不能責怪任何季節
原諒不必跟隨著抱歉 眼淚也不必為了紀念
是不是我們該忘了 最愛的一刻
找不回每次擁抱缺少的 溫熱
也許是我們該忘了 越在乎越忐忑
理智拉扯 情緒曲折 早就無法癒合
是不是我們該忘了 最當初的快樂
當一切寬容與配合 換來挫折
所以我們應該忘了 放手是好的
幸福很遠了 所以再見了
♥
chan yang bpen kon tee rak ter mot jai
I’m still the man who loves you wholeheartedly
ฉัน ยัง ได้แต่ คิดถึง เธอ เรื่อยไป
chan yang dai dtae kit teung ter reuay bpai
I still can only think of you constantly
ฉัน ยัง ดู รูปถ่าย ที่ เรา ชิดใกล้ อยู่ ทุกวัน
chan yang doo roop taai tee rao chit glai yoo tuk wan
I still look at our pictures of when we were close everyday
ฉัน ยัง รอคอย ให้ เธอ นั้น กลับมา
chan yang ror koi hai ter nan glap maa
I’m still waiting for you to come back
ฉัน ยัง กา ปฏิทิน ทุก คืนวัน
chan yang gaa bpa-dti-tin tuk keun-wan
I still cross off each day on the calendar
เพราะ คำ เดียว ระยะทาง ที่มา ขวางกั้น เรา ไว้
pror kam dieow ra-ya taang tee maa kwaang gan rao wai
Because one word stood in our way and kept us apart
* ได้แต่ คิด แล้วก็ สงสัย อยู่ ตรงนั้น เธอ เป็นอย่างไร ก็ ไม่รู้
* dai dtae kit laew gor song-sai yoo dtrong nan ter bpen yaang rai gor mai roo
I can only think and then wonder. I have no idea how you’re doing over there
ฝาก เพลง นี้ ให้ ไป ถาม เธอ ดู อยากจะ รู้ ใน ความเป็นไป
faak playng nee hai bpai taam ter doo yaak ja roo nai kwaam bpen bpai
I’ll send over this song to ask you. I want to know what’s going on.
** เธอ ยัง คิดถึง ฉัน ทุก นาที รึเปล่า
** ter yang kit teung chan tuk naa-tee reu bplao
Do you still think of me every single minute?
เธอ ยัง จำ เรื่อง เรา ใน วัน วาน ได้ หรือไม่
ter yang jam reuang rao nai wan waan dai reu mai
Do you still recall yesterday’s memories?
เธอ ยัง มี ใจ ให้ ฉัน คนเดียว ยัง รอ ฉัน แค่ คนเดียว
ter yang mee jai hai chan kon dieow yang ror chan kae kon dieow
Are you still faithful to only me? Still waiting for only me?
เธอ ยังคง เป็น เหมือนเดิม อยู่ ใช่ไหม
ter yang kong bpen meuan derm yoo chai mai
You’re still the same person as before, right?
ช่วย บอก ให้รู้ ที
chuay bok hai roo tee
Please let me know
ฉัน กลัว ใคร ทำให้ เธอ นั้น เปลี่ยนไป
chan glua krai tam hai ter nan bplian bpai
I’m afraid someone is going to change you
ฉัน กลัว สิ่ง ที่ ไม่ แน่นอน มากมาย
chan glua sing tee mai nae non maak maai
I’m afraid of so many uncertain things
ฉัน กลัว คำว่า เสียใจ เธอ รอ ฉัน ได้ ใช่ไหม
chan glua kam waa sia jai ter ror chan dai chai mai
I’m afraid of regret. You can wait for me, right?
เธอ ยัง คิดถึง ฉัน ทุกเวลา อยู่ หรือเปล่า
ter yang kit teung chan tuk way-laa yoo reu bplao
Do you still think of me all the time?
เธอ ยัง ดู รูป เรา ใบ เดิม เดิม อยู่ หรือไม่
ter yang doo roop rao bai derm derm yoo reu mai
Do you still look at our old photographs?
เธอ ยัง มี ใจ ให้ ฉัน คนเดียว ยัง รอ ฉัน แค่ คนเดียว
ter yang mee jai hai chan kon dieow yang ror chan kae kon dieow
Are you still faithful to only me? Still waiting for only me?
เธอ ยัง รัก กัน เหมือนเดิม อยู่ ใช่ไหม ช่วย บอก ให้รู้ ที
ter yang rak gan meuan derm yoo chai mai chuay bok hai roo tee
You still love me like you did before, right? Please let me know.
เธอ ยัง คิดถึง ฉัน ทุกเวลา อยู่ หรือเปล่า
ter yang kit teung chan tuk way-laa yoo reu bplao
Do you still think of me all the time?
เธอ ยัง ดู รูป เรา ใบ เดิม เดิม อยู่ หรือไม่
ter yang doo roop rao bai derm derm yoo reu mai
Do you still look at our old photographs?
เธอ ยัง มี ใจ ให้ ฉัน คนเดียว ยัง รอ ฉัน แค่ คนเดียว
ter yang mee jai hai chan kon dieow yang ror chan kae kon dieow
Are you still faithful to only me? Still waiting for only me?
เธอ ยัง รัก กัน เหมือนเดิม อยู่ ใช่ไหม ช่วย บอก ให้รู้ ที
ter yang rak gan meuan derm yoo chai mai chuay bok hai
You still love me like you did before, right? Please let me know.
♥
19 August 2013
Today.
Today I'm gonna make you regret for that decision that you have made. I always thought that I will slowly forget you. But, from today onwards I will force myself to forget you. I will make you regret for making me this way. Vincent Theng Yong Sheng, I will make you regret for making that move of deleting those photos. You are one heartless person that I have seen. I don't mind you being no money and despite people telling me that you have no future and asked me to forget you. I hold on for so long, waited for you so long. Showed so much love to you, you made my heart break so many times. I still hold on and continued waiting for you. But, this is all I get from you. You wait.
I'll make sure I will be 10 times more successful then I thought i will. This is because you made me stronger than before. I will make sure I will do well for everything that is coming my way and make everything do well. I will prove to myself that I don't need you at all. Since you don't need me, i will do this all for myself. Getting married at the age of 25 will come one day and when the comes. I will show it to you that, the day you didn't wanted me is your lose not my lose.
Continue with your nonsense in your life. Living a lifeless life. You want it, you go have it. 我不会跟你一起疯了。Carry on going siam tiew and drinking your life away. I don't scare and I won't care anymore. I will not text you anymore, I will not concern for you anymore. Because all I do is just wasting my effort. You don't appreciate the things I do, I will stop. You think you're so good to live on your own, so be it. I'll let you be. One day, just one day. I'll prove it to everyone that the move of leaving you from the start is all worth it. And me wanting you back is a stupid mistake till the day I move on will be the day when people say 'Well Done For Moving On Away From You'. You don't worth my time anymore. Not even friend I can say. Next time when I see you on the road or streets, don't blame me for not saying hi because you have hurt me so much that I do not want to accept that we once knew each other.
我在也不会让我在为你掉一滴眼泪了。谢谢你让我看出男人都是没良心的。
I'll will never find a guy that is as heartless as you anymore. I will make sure that my next boyfriend will be my husband and I will make the marriage so much better than anyone's else. Most of all, I will make my life better than yours. I will not waste time on you anymore.
The old Vincent Theng Yong Sheng that I know had die long ago.. This person that I know is not the one I know because he is not the someone that will hurt me. So,,why do I have to love someone that I don't know. 那个他已经死了，真的死了。我们的爱真的在也找不会来了。
在也不要见了。。。我的心对你也应该死了。是你比我的。
