♥
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Today is the first day of school for Year 2 Semester 1. I'm finally moving on to year 2 and today is quite beside that i have to go school early to sent lappy to IT helpdesk it is down then after meeting one went to collect and the person said that my lappy has 400 plus virus. And i was like what the fuck? i didn't even use it for anything besides Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram. Then back to class, lesson was normal. It was F&B and it happened to be Fishball last time lecturer which is Kelvin Koh. LOL!
Since yesterday long text to Vin i decided to treat it as nothing happened today and text him in the morning, as usual morning text to him. But he didn't reply until i sent him another text at around 1plus to ask if he has eaten a not. He replied. Guess i'm just irritating him and he's just entertaining me. :( Texted him all the way until 5plus. After school, i told him i almost die and he was like why. Lie to him that i almost got knocked down by car and he was like 'huh again' yes, i'm lying to see whether do you still cares anot. :( Again, i'm selfish for lying. Like what JP said, i'm a greedy and selfish person. I want you back and at the same time i would also want Fishball to be by my side. This is asking too much and i am not suppose to be behaving this way. Like i said before ever since 22 Nov 2013 what i do was a mistake. Everything was just a stupid mistake that i had made. Friends like Nigel, Eunice, Samantha have told me to think about it and not just because of one eye candy i choose him over my 1 years over boyfriend. As always, I didn't listen to them and did what is right for me. I broke up with Vin and went on a date with Fishball. Everything ended and started too fast within us. Vin wanted to get back to me back i didn't want to reply him and ignore his text and went to the extend of asking him not to text me. I know this is too much for him to take it last time but now he seems to be living perfectly fine without me. I'm sorry Vincent. :(
These few days i really miss you so much and think that you treated me so well yet i took everything for granted and treat you like shit. Do you deserve to be treated this way? Why am i such a whore to treat you so badly last time? I am really sorry to make you to be in the state at that point of time. I'M REALLY SORRY. Thank you for continuing to be my friend. I don't know whether do you still have feelings for me a not but from your FB i saw your shared video link about the song called 'i'm still loving you' yesterday. Are you trying to hint me? :( i don't know. But one thing i know is that i know you're afraid that i will hurt you the same way again right? That's why when i ask you yesterday about do you still have feelings for me you said no. But at the same time when i hugged you, you didn't hug back. This is the most saddest thing about yesterday. :( I know you shouldn't hug me but i did.
Vin sorry for toying you and making you feel like some clown. I'm really sorry but i would like to continue be friends with you and be by your side until you find someone else.
For Fishball, i feel that we're slowly drifting apart without us realising it. Or maybe without him realising it? School has started and i thought we would have more time for each other but no. We met before school to go school together then we never met until after school. We walked back to the interchange and give a kiss to each other. But no, i don't really feel anything at all. It was just a normal kiss. Then you went to take your train and i went to take the bus back home. I don't know what is this right now.
My feelings? I really don't know what are my feelings are now. I want Vin back by my side so badly but i don't want fishball to go...
BFF have told me to really think about it. Either i break up with Fishball and try to get Vin back or just forget about Vin and concentrate on Fishball. And he told me not to be greedy and selfish to both of the parties.
I should really think about it... I really don't know why on earth do i always get myself into this kind of shit and when problem comes i do not know how to handle it. Sigh....
♥
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Today is the first day of school for Year 2 Semester 1. I'm finally moving on to year 2 and today is quite beside that i have to go school early to sent lappy to IT helpdesk it is down then after meeting one went to collect and the person said that my lappy has 400 plus virus. And i was like what the fuck? i didn't even use it for anything besides Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram. Then back to class, lesson was normal. It was F&B and it happened to be Fishball last time lecturer which is Kelvin Koh. LOL!
Since yesterday long text to Vin i decided to treat it as nothing happened today and text him in the morning, as usual morning text to him. But he didn't reply until i sent him another text at around 1plus to ask if he has eaten a not. He replied. Guess i'm just irritating him and he's just entertaining me. :( Texted him all the way until 5plus. After school, i told him i almost die and he was like why. Lie to him that i almost got knocked down by car and he was like 'huh again' yes, i'm lying to see whether do you still cares anot. :( Again, i'm selfish for lying. Like what JP said, i'm a greedy and selfish person. I want you back and at the same time i would also want Fishball to be by my side. This is asking too much and i am not suppose to be behaving this way. Like i said before ever since 22 Nov 2013 what i do was a mistake. Everything was just a stupid mistake that i had made. Friends like Nigel, Eunice, Samantha have told me to think about it and not just because of one eye candy i choose him over my 1 years over boyfriend. As always, I didn't listen to them and did what is right for me. I broke up with Vin and went on a date with Fishball. Everything ended and started too fast within us. Vin wanted to get back to me back i didn't want to reply him and ignore his text and went to the extend of asking him not to text me. I know this is too much for him to take it last time but now he seems to be living perfectly fine without me. I'm sorry Vincent. :(
These few days i really miss you so much and think that you treated me so well yet i took everything for granted and treat you like shit. Do you deserve to be treated this way? Why am i such a whore to treat you so badly last time? I am really sorry to make you to be in the state at that point of time. I'M REALLY SORRY. Thank you for continuing to be my friend. I don't know whether do you still have feelings for me a not but from your FB i saw your shared video link about the song called 'i'm still loving you' yesterday. Are you trying to hint me? :( i don't know. But one thing i know is that i know you're afraid that i will hurt you the same way again right? That's why when i ask you yesterday about do you still have feelings for me you said no. But at the same time when i hugged you, you didn't hug back. This is the most saddest thing about yesterday. :( I know you shouldn't hug me but i did.
Vin sorry for toying you and making you feel like some clown. I'm really sorry but i would like to continue be friends with you and be by your side until you find someone else.
For Fishball, i feel that we're slowly drifting apart without us realising it. Or maybe without him realising it? School has started and i thought we would have more time for each other but no. We met before school to go school together then we never met until after school. We walked back to the interchange and give a kiss to each other. But no, i don't really feel anything at all. It was just a normal kiss. Then you went to take your train and i went to take the bus back home. I don't know what is this right now.
My feelings? I really don't know what are my feelings are now. I want Vin back by my side so badly but i don't want fishball to go...
BFF have told me to really think about it. Either i break up with Fishball and try to get Vin back or just forget about Vin and concentrate on Fishball. And he told me not to be greedy and selfish to both of the parties.
I should really think about it... I really don't know why on earth do i always get myself into this kind of shit and when problem comes i do not know how to handle it. Sigh....
