Time flies and i'm in year 2 semester 2 now. After this semester i'll be going for internship and back to school for another sem and off i graduate from RP. 3 years can count as short and long too but these 3 years have definitely taught me well. Learnt lots of things along the way, loss somethings and received things, experienced, lose it again and here i am alone being single. This is the longest time I've been single, even i myself is kinda proud of myself for pulling myself through this tough period of time. Even though, i did fling around but my heart decision still remains the same. Never did i have the second though of giving somebody else to take over your place in my heart. Vincent Theng.. I don't know what's so beautiful and fantastic about you that nobody could replace your place in my heart. Even Derek couldn't, someone that you helped me to get through in the past wanted to help me get you out but no matter what he do. At the end of the day, you Vincent Theng still can't be taken away. I don't know why too.. 

All these while, i have did so much for you and all i want is not for you to come back to me. I just want you to know that you're the most important person in my life and i have regretted for what i have done in the past. I have no rights to as you be back by my side, i just want and hope that you're living fine without me. Having enough money to spend and not going work with an empty stomach.. You have nobody to take care of you now and i hope i can do a little things for you. You might not have feelings for me anymore i won't blame you because this is what i did in the past to make you this way. I'm sorry... 

For now, i just hope that we could at least have a meal together once in a while and contact you to chat. Knowing your well being and being able to share with you all the ups and downs, i'm more than happy enough. Many people have told me not to be so naive and stupid to continue to wait for you. Someone that doesn't have a future and also a guy that have such a huge age gap with me. I did take their words to heart and think through it but at the end of the day i just can't help but fall for you over and over again. I don't know what is this called but maybe this is fate? This is what God wants us to be? 

I have tell you a hundreds and millions time that i know you don't have money, you're not young and good-looking but as long as you're willing to work hard for our future and love me with all you can. I am willing to walk the rest of my life with you. Age, money and looks doesn't really matter after all as long as i am with someone that i love the most. With you, i can feel happiness. Even if you give me a rich and good looking young man, i will still be unhappy. From the day, i fall for you till now i have never regretted the decision that i once made which is getting together with you. Sometimes, you might be lazy to go find work and you might not be as capable as other people but i'm sure with preservance and hard work you will one day be able to earn enough to support a family.     

I really hope that one day we will be able to have our own family together. Like what we said 1 year ago, I wanna get married to you in 5 years time. Which means for now is 4 years later... I have always remind you of this, hope you still remembers and take my words to heart. I am not joking, i'm serious. Really hope that one day will come. 

Let's talk about recent happenings...

21st October was my first day of year 2 semester 2. As always, i'm that kind of person that does not like changes and afraid of getting adapt to new environment. And, well enough. On my first day of school i got all so stressed up and ended up crying about what are the many things that's gonna happen in school. I started crying and had nobody to turn to. Luckily, Derek was there to comfort me a little but the empty feelings is still in there. So i decided to text you, Vincent, I need your concern and words of encouragement. But, i know you will just ignore or give a few words reply. But, the next day you told me that i can look for you when i need someone to talk to. It really touched my heart and makes me very happy. You hurt me so much and rejected me umpteen times but those things you said and do did not make me give up. Whereas, those small and little things that you encouraged me makes me have that little hope that you still care and makes me push on and have faith in us. 

Yesterday (29/10/13), Lawrence told me about you, that you went to ask Shunming whether if it's him will you get back together with me and he said no. Then he told me that you have made the decision of not getting back with me and i guess that the reason why you deleted our photos on fb a few months ago. Guess that's when you asked Shunming about it. Again, i really can't blame anyone for that decision and all i can blame is myself. I chose to leave you and i want you back. It's really ridiculous to ask for your return so I cannot say anything too.

I really miss you a lot. In the night, i don't know why i just felt like texting you again. And while texting halfway you suddenly appeared online, it gave me shocked and i stopped typing and hesitated on whether to send you again because i wasn't ready to get a reply after you read. I thought you were working but guess you're having off day yesterday. To my surprise, you reply a text that i will never imagine it. You said 'Find one day we go out ok' IMMEDIATELY TEARS STARTED TO ROLL DOWN. I was so happy until i started tearing. I have been waiting for months and months, almost 8 months. I worked so hard and waited and finally you kinda start open to me. 

I don't really know where you're coming from. Maybe, you was just telling me as a friend to meet up since i am stressed up with school and i was kind of pestering you as always. Maybe, you were bored and you want someone to accompany you. Maybe, you want to give me another chance. Maybe, you just reply what came up your mind. MAYBE MAYBE MAYBE. Lots of maybe which i don't want to think too much. Having high hopes would lead to higher disappointment of course. So, i just have to calm my tits down and wait for your reply about the meet up. I told you that i will wait. So, no matter how long you take to plan the meet up i will wait. 8 months, i have already go passed. LITRES OF TEAR IS SHED FOR YOU, HEART ACHE FOR YOU TOO.  This time i guess it won't hurt much too. 

God put us in this test for so long. I hope you and i can really see it. From breaking up with Yuyuan - knowing how much i miss you. Going BKK-SOT and telling myself that i'll come back with a different me - but still failed and came back missing you and went to see you 2 days after when i'm back in Singapore. Your birthday - Texting you at 12am sharp and hoping that you will feel a little touched about my effort. School started - Texted you and knowing that i still needed you. 

I really hope, this time round is something that is what i hope and expect. I really don't want to be played and i don't want to fool around anymore. Baby, can we have one last chance again? If fate bring us back together, let's make it last till the end. I am willing, are you?

Will see how things go, hope the next post would be something good? 

See you soon little bloggy. 

Time flies and i'm in year 2 semester 2 now. After this semester i'll be going for internship and back to school for another sem and off i graduate from RP. 3 years can count as short and long too but these 3 years have definitely taught me well. Learnt lots of things along the way, loss somethings and received things, experienced, lose it again and here i am alone being single. This is the longest time I've been single, even i myself is kinda proud of myself for pulling myself through this tough period of time. Even though, i did fling around but my heart decision still remains the same. Never did i have the second though of giving somebody else to take over your place in my heart. Vincent Theng.. I don't know what's so beautiful and fantastic about you that nobody could replace your place in my heart. Even Derek couldn't, someone that you helped me to get through in the past wanted to help me get you out but no matter what he do. At the end of the day, you Vincent Theng still can't be taken away. I don't know why too.. 

All these while, i have did so much for you and all i want is not for you to come back to me. I just want you to know that you're the most important person in my life and i have regretted for what i have done in the past. I have no rights to as you be back by my side, i just want and hope that you're living fine without me. Having enough money to spend and not going work with an empty stomach.. You have nobody to take care of you now and i hope i can do a little things for you. You might not have feelings for me anymore i won't blame you because this is what i did in the past to make you this way. I'm sorry... 

For now, i just hope that we could at least have a meal together once in a while and contact you to chat. Knowing your well being and being able to share with you all the ups and downs, i'm more than happy enough. Many people have told me not to be so naive and stupid to continue to wait for you. Someone that doesn't have a future and also a guy that have such a huge age gap with me. I did take their words to heart and think through it but at the end of the day i just can't help but fall for you over and over again. I don't know what is this called but maybe this is fate? This is what God wants us to be? 

I have tell you a hundreds and millions time that i know you don't have money, you're not young and good-looking but as long as you're willing to work hard for our future and love me with all you can. I am willing to walk the rest of my life with you. Age, money and looks doesn't really matter after all as long as i am with someone that i love the most. With you, i can feel happiness. Even if you give me a rich and good looking young man, i will still be unhappy. From the day, i fall for you till now i have never regretted the decision that i once made which is getting together with you. Sometimes, you might be lazy to go find work and you might not be as capable as other people but i'm sure with preservance and hard work you will one day be able to earn enough to support a family.     

I really hope that one day we will be able to have our own family together. Like what we said 1 year ago, I wanna get married to you in 5 years time. Which means for now is 4 years later... I have always remind you of this, hope you still remembers and take my words to heart. I am not joking, i'm serious. Really hope that one day will come. 

Let's talk about recent happenings...

21st October was my first day of year 2 semester 2. As always, i'm that kind of person that does not like changes and afraid of getting adapt to new environment. And, well enough. On my first day of school i got all so stressed up and ended up crying about what are the many things that's gonna happen in school. I started crying and had nobody to turn to. Luckily, Derek was there to comfort me a little but the empty feelings is still in there. So i decided to text you, Vincent, I need your concern and words of encouragement. But, i know you will just ignore or give a few words reply. But, the next day you told me that i can look for you when i need someone to talk to. It really touched my heart and makes me very happy. You hurt me so much and rejected me umpteen times but those things you said and do did not make me give up. Whereas, those small and little things that you encouraged me makes me have that little hope that you still care and makes me push on and have faith in us. 

Yesterday (29/10/13), Lawrence told me about you, that you went to ask Shunming whether if it's him will you get back together with me and he said no. Then he told me that you have made the decision of not getting back with me and i guess that the reason why you deleted our photos on fb a few months ago. Guess that's when you asked Shunming about it. Again, i really can't blame anyone for that decision and all i can blame is myself. I chose to leave you and i want you back. It's really ridiculous to ask for your return so I cannot say anything too.

I really miss you a lot. In the night, i don't know why i just felt like texting you again. And while texting halfway you suddenly appeared online, it gave me shocked and i stopped typing and hesitated on whether to send you again because i wasn't ready to get a reply after you read. I thought you were working but guess you're having off day yesterday. To my surprise, you reply a text that i will never imagine it. You said 'Find one day we go out ok' IMMEDIATELY TEARS STARTED TO ROLL DOWN. I was so happy until i started tearing. I have been waiting for months and months, almost 8 months. I worked so hard and waited and finally you kinda start open to me. 

I don't really know where you're coming from. Maybe, you was just telling me as a friend to meet up since i am stressed up with school and i was kind of pestering you as always. Maybe, you were bored and you want someone to accompany you. Maybe, you want to give me another chance. Maybe, you just reply what came up your mind. MAYBE MAYBE MAYBE. Lots of maybe which i don't want to think too much. Having high hopes would lead to higher disappointment of course. So, i just have to calm my tits down and wait for your reply about the meet up. I told you that i will wait. So, no matter how long you take to plan the meet up i will wait. 8 months, i have already go passed. LITRES OF TEAR IS SHED FOR YOU, HEART ACHE FOR YOU TOO.  This time i guess it won't hurt much too. 

God put us in this test for so long. I hope you and i can really see it. From breaking up with Yuyuan - knowing how much i miss you. Going BKK-SOT and telling myself that i'll come back with a different me - but still failed and came back missing you and went to see you 2 days after when i'm back in Singapore. Your birthday - Texting you at 12am sharp and hoping that you will feel a little touched about my effort. School started - Texted you and knowing that i still needed you. 

I really hope, this time round is something that is what i hope and expect. I really don't want to be played and i don't want to fool around anymore. Baby, can we have one last chance again? If fate bring us back together, let's make it last till the end. I am willing, are you?

Will see how things go, hope the next post would be something good? 

See you soon little bloggy.